ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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