yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
