Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize