And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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