Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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