Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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