When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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