His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
