Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no, he came in my armpit
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
