Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
