I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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