fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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