Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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