if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
