I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize