im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
