Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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