this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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