DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
