I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
