You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
