I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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