it's like iHOP with fire
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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