omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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