I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
