Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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