No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
