he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
