It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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