It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
