I am puke
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
