Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
