New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
