Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
