So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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