I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
