First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
