So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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