Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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