Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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