i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize