If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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