I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
