why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
