the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
