i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
