Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
