Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
