escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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