i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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