considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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