return my video game
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
