I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
