i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
