he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
