Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
