He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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