I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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