hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
honey bunches of taint.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
