Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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